I saw a datingish post about being friends after a breakup and skimmed through it. Since I haven't really written anything in a while I just thought I'd jot down my thoughts.
For me personally, I wouldn't be able to be friends immediately after a breakup. I'd definitely need time away from them and focus on other stuff. The less I see them or talk to them, the more I get over them and replace them with other things in my life. Yes, there are people who can just shift from "in a relationship" to "just friends," but that requires certain maturity, and also romantic love that could have easily been replaced by platonic love. They weren't compatible as lovers, so they just reverted back to friends. Sure, in a sense they still love each other, but only in the "I love you like a brother/sister" way.
Heh, kinda makes me giggle (in a derisive, self-ridiculing way) thinking about my exes. There was my first high school to early college boyfriend, Leonard. If I recall, I think the relationship was a little less than a year. Oh man, what a freaking douchebag LOL. It kind of pisses me off that I went out with that guy because it was such a waste of time and really frustrating. You know how girls start out naive and just kind of latch on to any guy that gives them any attention? Especially ugly girls who were made fun of throughout their lives for being ugly and unfashionable and dorky? Then some guy, who isn't even that good looking, gives them attention and flirts with them and the girl falls for him. Hah! That was me. He was a douchebag, his parents were douchebags, his friends were douchebags... I don't even. Wow. Lol. Yeah, waste of time and truly a headache to deal with.
Would I be friends with Leonard now? I could, if I had to be, in a pretentious way like how people will be if they're forced to. Like if we were both volunteers at a children's summer camp of the same group. Would I want to be? Not really. He sent me a birthday message over facebook in September (we're not friends on facebook) and at the end he gave me this little snarky comment asking about what university I was attending now. Yeah douchebag, no need to rub it in my face that I'm still in community college. Plus, the fact that he was a really immature guy who had no substance really turns me off of the prospect of associating with him.
I dunno though. For some reason, the prospect of being a pretentious friend figure to rub it in his face now that I'm a lot better looking now than I was when dating him and also have a tall, handsome boyfriend now is really tempting... Nah. I'm kidding. I'm not that much of a jerk. Maybe.
The only other guy was Daniel. Korean fob I knew from summer classes. (Yeah I haven't been in that many relationships lol, what can I say?) It was just a "oh hey somebody to make out with and drink alcohol with-- sweet!" kind of relationship. And he wasn't a very good kisser. We only went out for like. 2-3 months or something. I wouldn't have minded making out with his sister, on the other hand....
Would I be friends with Daniel now? Ehh. Probably not. No particular reason. Didn't have much in common.
There's also the people from the clique I was part of in high school that I definitely would not talk to anymore. For one thing, all they ever seem to talk about is sex. At one point, I would have been eager to join in and make raunchy jokes. They're also the party type so anything involving drinking is "like, super awesome." But now I'm really over all those things. I'm glad though -- too much drama for me, even though I was never actually involved in it.
I'm glad I changed. Honestly though, if I'd never been in those relationships I wouldn't have learned really valuable lessons like "Don't date douchebags," and "Don't date guys who suck at kissing." Just kidding, sort of. I really did learn from the mistakes I made in those relationships though, like dealing with and acknowledging jealousy and trust issues. I'm working on those issues right now still, with Darwin, but he's definitely a great guy. I'm trying to change my outlook on things. Trying to be a better person overall. It helps to be around someone who's a positive influence. Also, his mom seems to like me! Huzzah! Even though I'm not Filipino! All right, goal for the next few years: become fluent and learn Tagalog! Then she'll love me. :3
So, has anybody played it yet? Or gotten a copy of it?
I was all :ALSDKHF:LEWIRHIHDGLKGH when it was released on Monday in North America. I love the Golden Sun series. It's probably the best series that I've ever played for the Gameboy Advance. My friend, Rebecca, gave the first/original game to me when we were 11 (2001!), since I borrowed it from her and LOVED it so freaking much. I played the original game and beat it about 20+ times (no kidding), and then when the sequel came out played that even more. I even got a secondhand GBA when my old one broke, and played the Golden Sun series on the plane when I visited the East Coast back in April this year.
I'm so happy it came out! Tears of joy and nerdiness are leaking through my eyes every time I see it for sale at Target! Oh god, it's been a decade since this game first came out. It's like Harry Potter since I grew up with it. I have a DS for the sole purpose of playing this game. Well, and maybe LoZ Spirit Tracks, too.
For the GS veterans, I found out that (zomg) Isaac and Jenna get together and have a kid. Garet has actually GOTTEN LAID and had a kid. Also, Eoleo (Briggs, Champa - TLA) grew up! I'm so excited to play the game and find out all the rest of the plot details though.
Since I have finals though, I'm not going to buy it until the term ends.... ;___; 2 weeks!! It is my motivator.
Seriously though, has anybody played it yet? (Looking at you two, PervyPenguin and Coffee Kaioken :P)
I feel like I don't need to explain myself to anybody except my closest friends. There are people who don't know me, like on the forums I used to be on, who've made fun of me for "turning straight" because I'm dating him now. Or my friends whom I don't keep in touch with anymore who probably thought I was just putting on a facade to begin with. But the only person I should explain myself to is him, because I told him first that I wasn't interested in men. Perhaps it's because Xanga is much more intimate; but I feel like I owe at least some people an explanation. For my friends who've read my other entries, I really had to ponder my sexuality for a long, long time and honestly I still cannot define myself. A lot of things have happened to me since I realized in junior high that I definitely had a crush on my female friend, and that I might not have been entirely the straight-laced, Christian daughter my parents raised me to be I later found out. I decided I would tell my friends I was bisexual after high school ended. Then something happened a long time afterwards that changed my outlook dramatically. I then decided I was a lesbian because I'd never again date another man. (I wouldn't be able to. He hurt me. I couldn't talk about it.) I plunged myself into a search of who I was, but I still wasn't sure how to define myself.
I was still hurt and vulnerable when I met Darwin, but he helped me get through all of it. He listened, and he didn't reject me. He was always there. I found myself falling in love despite my chides towards myself that "No, I was in love with women. I'd never fall in love with a man." But we had chemistry, and found ourselves being like a couple a little too much. When he finally asked me, I said no. No, because I wanted everything to stay the way it was now. No, because I wanted us to stay in this limbo between boy and girl and couple. No, because I was afraid that if we dated, we would break up. Then we would stop talking, and never be friends again. I wanted to be near him, and I was unafraid to be near him even if he dated some other girl, kissed some other girl, married some other girl. But he told me No, it wouldn't be like that. So I said yes the second time. There's more to it, but I won't write it.
I suppose this was just a story of how I met a friend. We became best friends, boy and girl. I was just some girl who didn't know if she could fit into a label of sexuality. Just some girl who was hurt and never wanted to get hurt (that way, that awful way) again. But somehow he broke through and now, we're happy together. I suppose this was just my way of saying that I knew a long time ago it didn't matter what gender or sex the person I might be attracted to identified as, as long as they were a great person and that we got along well. Sorry to everyone who thought I was lying about my sexuality -- whether or not I was really, actually gay. Sorry.